I think I'll try defying gravity

We got tickets to see Wicked yesterday when it comes to DC this summer. I love Wicked. I was already in love with the music before I ever actually saw the show but once I saw it in London it quickly moved up on the list to one of my all time favorites. This morning I was inspired to listen to the music from Wicked on my way into work. I love the song defying gravity. It brings up a lot of thoughts and emotions when I hear this song but there's one memory in particular that I continually go back to.

When I was in college and struggling with a pretty sever eating disorder I had a very dear friend who would not leave me alone. As much as I tried to convince her I was fine and everything was okay she refused to take it at face value. She went to see a counselor on my behalf because she is that good of a friend and she asked the counselor how it was that I was still going. I remember he told her that what was happening in my body right now was similar to someone who is falling off a building. I was falling and falling and falling but I hadn't hit the hard ground yet. He assured her I would hit the hard ground, and of course I did. And it hurt.

I hear this song and I think of that analogy often. One can not defy gravity. It's not possible. As sure as the sun rises and sets, gravity exists. You may try to defy it, to trick it, to work around it but physics tells us that you will not win. Gravity will prevail and you will fall. I'm thankful that I'm no longer trying to defy gravity. I'm thankful that my feet are planted on solid ground and that I'm no longer free falling off a building but I'm also thankful for the fall. As hard as it was and as much as it hurt I'm thankful it happened because it has taught me so many things about who I am and how God made me. It taught me about friends and relationships and it forced me to pick myself up on my own and set boundaries and become my own person. The truth is I'm more afraid of falling now that I'm not trying to defy gravity than I ever was when I was.

The song goes on to say that they will never bring them down and unfortunately that is not true. I hope that I've learned my lesson about trying to defy gravity although I'm sure I haven't. I'm sure sometime in my life I will try to defy gravity once again and I hope I have a friend in my life who talks me out of it before I begin my free fall.

my poor feet

I'm in pain. Lots and lots of pain. Beyond the pain I'm just flat out frustrated. Starting in December I began having this nagging pain in my achilles. It started on my right foot and was a pain that was completely out of the blue. Thinking that it was probably a combination of spending all day the day before in new boots and the fact that I was in desperate need of new shoes I wasn't too concerned about it. Later that week I went to the store and bought new shoes. I bought the same shoes I have been running in for years just the new model. I wore them once. It was awful. The shoe completely bruised the bone on the side of my right foot. I knew I had to take them back but since I had never run in anything else I was at a loss as to what to buy. I asked the people at the local running store and they put me in another shoe. I took it home and started running in it. It seemed okay, not my favorite but fine. I went out for a 20 mile run two weeks ago and came back with two bruised baby toes on my right foot. At the same time my left achilles began acting up. I started switching off between my new shoes and my vibram five finger shoes hoping that a break from the everyday sneakers would help. It hasn't. Last week my ankle bone began to feel very tender and painful to the touch. Figuring that I bruised it somehow I didn't think much of it. After just an 11.5 mile run on Saturday my feet were shot. With 8 miles on Monday and 9 miles yesterday by the time I got home last night my feet hurt so badly it was all I could stand to walk to the fridge and get some ice and ice them down. Frustrated I went on-line and attempted to find my regular running shoe in an older model. Success. My new (old) shoes will be coming next week. Until then though I'm not sure what to do to take the pain away and make my feet better. My poor poor feet!