It was freezing outside this morning. I knew that before I even rolled over to turn my alarm off. 5:30 and pitch black out. I was warm and cozy snuggled up next to my husband and getting out of bed to put layers of clothes on and face the bitter air wasn't that appealing at the moment. I pressed snooze and laid there a bit longer contemplating if I really wanted to run or not. At this point my sleep had already been disrupted and I knew in my heart I'd be happier today if I just got myself out of bed and ran than if I gave in and went back to sleep. I begrudgingly pulled myself out of my bed and flipped the light on in the other room and suited up for the 28 degree morning.
I love my morning runs I really do and in the summer when the sun is out and warm weather awaits me the thought of skipping a run is appalling but in the winter I struggle. I hate the cold, I have raynaud's and it seems to be getting worse each year, freezing fingers, freezing toes, not my idea of a good time. On top of that I dislike the darkness, I feel vulnerable when I walk out my door onto a dark street. In the summer the light of a new day welcomes me and beckons me out the door but in the winter, the sun hasn't even peaked over the horizon by the time I've finished my run. I've been running long enough to know that once I get over the thought of removing myself from my marshmallow bed and actually get dressed and get outside that I'm always happy I did. I have great runs in the winter, I run fast and my lungs feel good to be full of cool crisp air. I feel better about myself and less depressed about winter knowing that I've still spent an hour or two outside but regardless of what I know, sometimes it takes a lot of inner coaxing to actually make myself do it. This morning was no exception.
Outside of the fact that my morning runs make me feel good and put me in a good mood the other reason I hate to miss my runs is because my morning runs are the time I spend alone with God. I pray. I pray for my family, my friends, myself, my job, my husband and my future, everything. First thing in the morning my mind is often clear, there isn't much distraction out on the roads at 5:30am and I just get to be there, running in awe of God's creation. Since I'm not very good at sitting still I've found that I focus much easier on my prayer time if I do it while I'm running. Having a conversation in my mind with God while I run makes the miles fly by and suddenly I'm home and my spirits are lifted. If I don't get my morning run in that means I miss my morning time with God and non-running days are never quite as good as running days for that reason.
It's been a rough week for both Doug & I. We were supposed to head to the gym last night but we both got home and just crashed on the couch taking turns telling each other about the many trials of our days. This morning so much of me wanted to skip that run but I didn't, I got up and headed out into the cold darkness and began my morning conversation with God. I told myself I'd just go for a short run but about 3 miles in I wasn't ready to be done. I still had a lot on my heart to pray about. I think it ended up being a 6 mile loop around my town this morning before I was ready to head in and face my day. This day has already proven to be a challenging one and how grateful I am that I chose to get up this morning and run with God.
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